Beauty · Nature · Uncategorized

How to Survive YOUR Red Wedding

*Cough* menstruation *Cough*.

  1. Sacrifice that chocolate bar that you cried about because they changed the wrapper to the period god.
  2. Buy a truck load of dog and cats from that crazy woman down the road. Everything she does makes sense to you now.
  3. Get someone to stab you in the stomach repeatedly. It won’t compare to that shredder working inside your stomach like Edward Scissor Hands – but it will take your mind off it…..for two minutes.
  4. RESIST THE URGE TO……TO……..to………..tooo……..CRRRRRYY
  5. That toilet roll ad was just TOO sad.
  6. Stop getting distracted……should there be that much blood!?
  7. Be spiteful but not murderous (it is not worth those suspended sentences, so tough). That uncontrollable anger will only last for three more days.
  8. CRY
  9. CRY
  10. SCREAM
  11. Cry

 

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