*Cough* menstruation *Cough*.
- Sacrifice that chocolate bar that you cried about because they changed the wrapper to the period god.
- Buy a truck load of dog and cats from that crazy woman down the road. Everything she does makes sense to you now.
- Get someone to stab you in the stomach repeatedly. It won’t compare to that shredder working inside your stomach like Edward Scissor Hands – but it will take your mind off it…..for two minutes.
- RESIST THE URGE TO……TO……..to………..tooo……..CRRRRRYY
- That toilet roll ad was just TOO sad.
- Stop getting distracted……should there be that much blood!?
- Be spiteful but not murderous (it is not worth those suspended sentences, so tough). That uncontrollable anger will only last for three more days.